Freeman

POETRY

Aubade

NOVEMBER 21, 2013 by EMILIA PHILLIPS

“That kind of blockage, exiling one’s self from one’s self—have you ever experienced it?” - William Carlos Williams

Sometimes we say to one
            a goodbye
            meant for another. Morning
& the meperidine dream
                        breaks to shaking. My husband
 
guides me by his hands
            on my
            hips like a window-
dresser wheeling a mannequin
                        into sunlight, toward its reflection. I dreamt
 
of being, like fruit,
            faceless.
            The surgeon insists it’s
the swelling. He must’ve learned
                        to stitch on the flesh of an
 
orange, unless this idea is an ambrosia
            the gods pretend
            to eat so that when we steal,
we steal pathetically.
                        The bath reminds me
 
of a lover. The meperidine
            guides me by its
            hands on
the glass. He holds my head as if a baby’s
                        & tilts me back.  I dreamed of being faceless
 
like morning. The bath reminds me
            of a window. The dream—
            it breaks like a stitch. . . .
Sometimes we say to one the goodbye
                        another meant.

ASSOCIATED ISSUE

December 2013

ABOUT

EMILIA PHILLIPS

Emilia Phillips is the author of a collection of poems, Signaletics (University of Akron Press, 2013). She is the prose editor at 32 Poems and is the 2013–2014 Emerging Writer Lecturer at Gettysburg College.

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